I thought this was something that belongs to TIS and should be shared with her readers. I'm not exactly sure what this is supposed to accomplish, except that it certainly is, for one thing, a great closure to the relationship. We've all shared in the adventures of TIS, shared in her insights of people she's encountered. We've listened in on their life-stories, these men who shared their bodies and enjoyed hers. And always, I've tried to get to the human side in all these adventures. It's not just a fucking game, pun intended.

"dearest emyn,

"i was browsing through the net and i came across these familiar lines about a guy name francis inserted in a faraway blog of an inner slut. am reminded of the following email u sent me which goes:

" 'the root of my frustration is that i've opened up myself to pain and love and rejection in the hopes of finally starting to live. so this is life? being rejected and ignored? alone and lonely? not much different from when i didnt have a life.

" 'possible solution: live anyway. love anyway. cry in the confines of my room. affirm my feelings. never deny my feelings. accept my reality. talk to francis. share with francis my joys and sorrows, my failures and triumphs. share with him my everyday.

" 'live, anyway. and love, if only to affirm that i am not a rock and i am not an island. if only to let people know that i, too, can choose to love and not to love. to turn the tables on the world.

" 'my life is not out of control. i am in control.'

"i discovered this entry after being curious abt the blog, parang kilala ko itong writer... so i went on reading abt dickheads... at first i was glad that i was not just a dickhead, though i allegedly did not last hard long enough hehehehehe.

"but seriously, am happy that you enjoyed the brief relationship we had. thank you for the nice words. i wanted it to last but am too saddled with personal endeavours. i know u understand.

"i esp like the follwing lines:" 'He's very sweet and fun to be with. There's innocence in him and sadness that wants to be lifted, to be offered to his god as thanksgiving for being alive and in love. I'm scared of these feelings I have for him. I want to fall but there is this strong feeling in my gut that a lot of pain will result from all this. Warning bells are going off in my head. And yet...I've already decided to love this guy. No matter what the outcome may be, I'm loving this man and enjoying the moments I have had and will have with him. Finally?'

"i can feel the dilemma, the risk... and yet, i felt very loved, thank you, my sweet emyn.

"francis"

And, having gained permission to post the above-quoted, this:

"i understand where its all coming from and we don't have any issue about keeping ur identity. whatever happened shall always be our cherished secrets. pray that i don't undergo an open heart surgery, they might see ur name written boldly in my heart. and when they open a chamber, they will find that you have a special place in my heart.

" 'Also, I would like your permission to post your email on the blog.' <--- talk abt ex post facto, but no need to worry, it is as much yours as mine, you don't have to ask permission.

"i would love to read your blogs and yes, its not all abt fucking, it's abt being insane hehehehehe."

I am having a more than momentary flash, an existential sense, of the infinite possibilities here. The boundaries have suddenly vanished; subject has now become reader who is being treated as subject...Ad infinitum et nauseum.

TIS is being silent on the matter. She doesn't care for these intellectual exercises, intellectual masturbations. She'd rather go for the real thing. Cliff's in town. We're meeting tonight.

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Anonymous

hi there...your from cavite right? jay here by the way..loved reading your literature :)

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Emyn Galad

Thank you, Jay! And welcome aboard!

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Mr Pogi

this is really one f*&^%ing site!!! lucky to have found this one...cheers!